Not enough me...

I can't believe a week has passed since my last post. I've been seriously overdoing it lately and it's caught up with me. I feel like I've been run over by a truck...and it came back and ran over me a few more times. Too much to do and not enough me. I've started several posts and put them aside to come back to later and not gotten back to them. I haven't had adequate braincells to write up a post. I'm going to try again now...please excuse if it's scattered...I know I am.

Just an overview of what's been going on...

I've decided not to buy an e-reader. Lots of reasons but in a nutshell...too expensive, limited selection of books, and I really prefer real books. Lol, when I have more energy I may expand on this...I have lots of issues with it. One thing that really bothers me is ownership...you pay for an e-book but you never really own it. I feel the consumer is being shafted coming and going. I'm dropping this now before I take off on it and wear myself out.

Grrr, I hate having to always monitor what I do...even what/how much I think. For me, one of the strangest things about CFS is that mental activity is just as exhausting as physical. That's really difficult for me. It gets really old having to pace and try to protect yourself from over-doing all the time in every aspect of your life...from the tiniest, seemingly most insignificant to the big earth-shattering ones. Oh well, sorry for the mini-rant.

I read 2 books this week...a free mystery e-book from Barnes and Noble and a Janet Evanovich mystery. Lots of laughs from both. So I guess my love of reading is intact. Whew, I was kind of worried about that. Must have just been a phase I was going through for a while where I didn't feel like reading. I think that it was also because I didn't have anything to read that really grabbed me.

I have quite a few books that I've collected over the years and haven't read yet so there is always something to read. Sometimes nothing grabs me though and I need something new...a good mystery, for example. Barnes and Noble has a clearance sale going on right now so I re-stocked the mystery shelf this week. Not quite as much fun as real book shopping used to be but still nice. It was a good deal...I got 9 new hardcovers for $31.31 (including tax). B & N has free shipping on orders of $25 or more so no shipping charges, either.

My mother came to live with me back in May and I'm having to learn how to live with someone else again. She's a sweetheart and I love her dearly but I'm finding it incredibly difficult living with her. Not her fault...I'm just doing much too much, not getting enough rest, and suffering from extreme sensory overload. I'm having to learn how to pace all over again and trying to cope with the over-stimulation.

I'm also trying to find ways to decrease how much I have to shop and run errands for us. (Mom doesn't drive.). This last week, I arranged for water delivery so that I don't have to drag all those bottles home from the store...yay! I also discovered that Amazon now ships canned dog food. I pay a yearly fee for an Amazon Prime membership and I get 2 day shipping free, so no charge for shipping the dog food. That's a great deal for me.

I have a large dog who can't eat dry food and haven't been able to find anyone to ship food so I've been having to deal with getting large quantities of it home by myself. I ordered 3 cases from Amazon last week and 2 days later they were delivered to my front door...yay! I highly recommend the Amazon Prime membership if you have trouble getting out and shopping...it's been great for all kinds of things.

Now, if I could get groceries from Amazon, lol. Nobody seems to sell many groceries online. I sure wish someone here in town delivered groceries. You would think that service would be available in a city as large as Houston. Ironically, it was available here before I got sick. Sometimes it can be pretty hard getting out for groceries. No matter how much I buy we always seem to need something. I used to only shop for groceries about once a month...that's not working now. I think we need to buy a small freezer so I can stock up more. Not sure how I could manage dealing with getting more at one time though. I guess spread it out and build up some.

I'm not taking Mom grocery shopping with me now...it actually turns out to be harder and more work than doing it by myself. I need to hurry as much as I can before I run out of steam. I pay for rushing but it's no better when I go slow and I wouldn't be able to finish if I went slow. Mom can't rush...so less stressful for both of us if she doesn't go. We bring in all the cold things when I get home and bring the other things in a little at a time. I have a big old fashioned shopping cart that we load up.

This has been a big week for online shopping. In addition to the dog food and books, Mom and I both needed some new casual clothes (shorts, jeans, tees) and undies so we ordered some things online. This is a first for both of us. I've bought other things online but not clothes. I always worried that they wouldn't fit and I'd have to pay for shipping twice...ouch. I hope these fit.

Can't think to wrap this up logically or re-read it right now to edit...Mom is narrating aloud everything she is doing and I'm on sensory overload. Helpppppppppppppp, lol! Hope this makes some sense...just smile and pretend it does, okay?

Bye for now.

To buy or not to buy...

Do you have an e-book reader?

I'm wondering if it is a good idea for me. I adore books. My personal home library is over 3,000 books, mostly hardcover. (I'm allergic to the ink used in paperback books and newspapers.). I never, ever thought I'd consider anything but the real thing. However, holding one open and up, especially in bed (where else?) is very, very tiring and frequently impossible these days. I've read a little online but the glare is tiring and my position is limited.

E-readers are pretty expensive and even worse than the initial expense can be the cost of the books. When I was able to shop a lot, I got very nice new and used books at Half-Price Books for almost nothing. Laughing here, I was the queen of clearance-priced books.

It is hard to think of paying $10 or more for a book (that will never grace my shelves or be held in my hands...sigh). Now what little energy I can muster for shopping goes to survival needs, of course. Hmm, thinking about it, I guess I will have to pay more for books buying online anyway since I'm rarely able to cruise Half Price anymore.

Many of the e-readers, like Kindle from Amazon and Nook from Barnes and Noble are associated with one store and I assume you can't buy books from other sources. That's okay, I guess, if you are primarily a reader of best-sellers...I'm not. What if you like more obscure books, like I do? Maybe you can't find more obscure books for an e-reader anyway.

I used to be a voracious reader. I haven't been reading nearly as much the last couple of years. I'm not certain why...if I've lost interest due to the CFS or if it's the difficulty holding a book or what. I comprehend and remember what I read. I'm not sure if get more fatigued reading for fun. I know I do with heavier technical reading or under pressure.

I read a mystery a couple of weeks ago. Light, fun reading...a Diane Mott Davidson, Goldy the caterer, one. Other than holding the book it didn't seem to tire me too much...I really enjoyed it in fact. I'm reading 'Like Bees to Honey' online now, a novel by Caroline Smailes. I'm not certain if reading it on my laptop is tiring me more or not (glare). I am tired after reading but I'm in sort of bad shape right now anyway. Hard to know if it's the act of reading or the medium or my condition right now. I am enjoying the book.

I know some people with CFS have great difficulty reading. I do, if the material is very technical and complex or has extremely long and convoluted paragraphs. I can still read technical things (I love science), I just have to take it in smaller chunks. Reading anything is easier when the paragraphs are shorter.

So many variables to consider and with CFS you never know from day to day what or how things are going to affect you. It's hard to judge sometimes. Sometimes, it isn't apparent immediately if something has over-tired me, either. It may take doing it a few times or more to be sure...seeing a pattern emerge. With other things, it's apparent right away. For example, I can't listen to audio-books at all...they exhaust me completely and very quickly. I have a lot harder time processing things auditorally.

I'm still researching the different e-readers and I will want to see one first hand before I decide. I need to see how easy it is to read, how heavy it is, how hard to hold, if I think I could prop it up. etc. I'm just not sure. As expensive as they are, I don't want to buy one and find I get too tired reading or I'm just not that interested in reading now. I wish you could rent or borrow one first to be sure.

Anyway, just thinking and wondering about whether an e-reader would be a good option for me.

Anyone tried one or have any info or suggestions?

Reading 'Like Bees to Honey' and slaying a dragon or two...

I got swept up reading Caroline Smailes's 'Like Bees to Honey' this morning. It was serialized across 31 blogs. Sigh, unfortunately the widget containing chapter 4 malfunctioned and it's no longer available. Trying to decide if I should skip chapter 4 (they are brief chapters) and see if I can catch up or jump into some writing of my own. Laughing...or maybe have a nap. I am tired darn it! Hmmm, so what else is new, huh?

I'm working on a new post. If I don't chuck it or decide to post something else first it will be one on gardening. I think I've hit on a way to work through some of the writing issues Ive been having. I'm starting a document every 2 or 3 days on Goggle Docs, I jot down things of interest, quotes, and notes, do writing prompts and exercises, and write about things on my mind. Over the course of a day or three (whatever it takes), I'm going back and working on poems and stories; pulling posts together; re-writing, polishing, and editing until I have something.

It seems to be working so far...I'm feeling positive and more relaxed about it. Pieces get done when they are done. I'm being creative and writing every day while pacing and working on not overloading. While I haven't slain all the dragons, I am learning to cope...layer by layer.

More later...