Thursday, July 15, 2010

Writing with CFS...

Writing with CFS issues continue to frustrate me.

I'm either brain dead and can think of nothing to say.
I have much more to say than I have strength or stamina to think out, type, edit, and post.

I either find it difficult to get started and share something personal.
I have a great need to share and explain. (This is a newer phenomenon.)

Now that I'm learning to share more, I find I sometimes (frequently?) want to explain when I share...going on to explain more about CFS and life with CFS, for example. Part of it is that I'm used to writing more informational than personal pieces.
I'm wondering, too, if this is an attempt to make it less personal and more clinical...a format I'm used to from my profession and my love of science. Still working on those sharing personal stuff issues. Whatever the reason, it results in longer posts. It, also, often results in me going off to look up some bit of information to include...getting me even more overloaded and bogged down.

Most of the time, I still wind up wanting to write much more than I can handle...frustrating. I've been practicing writing shorter posts on a blog in another venue and thought I had gotten much better at it. However, it's a site where I don't really discuss any personal issues much...especially the ones dealing with my illness. Coming back here, I've discovered that I still have difficulty writing shorter posts. I think it has to do with feeling freer to share more personal topics and discuss the illness issues. My cup (mouth/fingers) runneth over...

Since I've been back I've had a lot to write about but not enough strength to do it all or edit it when it gets too long. Just thinking of what to include or not is more work now. It's also hard for me to go back and pare down or decide what can be divided into shorter posts. Especially, when I've gone overboard and gotten stuck in the middle of a post that has taken on gargantuan proportions. It's even difficult to think of ways to rewrite to make it more concise. Word-finding difficulties add to the frustration. (Extremely difficult for a former speech-language pathologist, as well as a writer, to cope with these changes/losses. Language is/was my life! Sigh...).

Wonder if other writers with CFS experience these issues? Now I'm wondering, too, if there are other speech pathologists with this disease...sharing these issues. There must be.

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